A STRAINED RELATIONSHIP

Factors of everyday life can place strain on a relationship. Severe stressors may include resentment, infidelity, intimacy issues, miscommunication, poor conflict resolution, and lack of trust.

When problems go unresolved, or a partner is suffering from mental illness or health complications, one can feel helpless or have feelings of guilt or shame.When both partners communicate effectively, emotional anxiety can be alleviated from situations currently being encountered.

INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

Intimacy and relationship issues widely occur behind closed doors.

Conflicts may include a loss of harmony between the sheets, a lack of sexual desire between either partners, or failure in communication.

Psychological factors may contribute to a sexual disorder such as erectile dysfunction or a lowered desire after a new mother has given birth.

Intimacy issues are common; but if one or more factors become severe and there is no resolution in sight, it may be time to seek therapy for guidance.

SIGNS THAT SEX PROBLEMS ARE AFFECTING A RELATIONSHIP

Signs that sex problems are affecting a relationship include: disappointment in oneself or the relationship, dissatisfaction, lack of communication so partners disconnect from one another, feeling neglected, unwanted, and sexual boredom and unhappiness.

WHAT MAKES A SATISFACTORY RELATIONSHIP?

Satisfactory relationships exhibit trust, mindfulness, mutual respect, emotional security, and good communication.

TREATING INTIMACY ISSUES – HEALING THE RELATIONSHIP

Steps to take for treating intimacy issues include psychosexual therapy which allows couples to express themselves in a safe environment with a trusted and supportive professional.

This type of therapy is also called relationship counseling in which the therapist works with individuals together or separately to overcome the problem.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

There are several positive strategies to utilize when dealing with conflict resolution, such as analyzing various behaviors and the consequence each behavior produces on the individuals living the problem.

Couples may be practicing poor communication techniques that handicap conflict resolution. Examples of such negative methods are couples who practice avoidance, ignore the problem, and hope it will go away. Unfortunately, the opposite occurs when the problem lies under the surface and inevitably raises its ugly head and can no longer be avoided.

Standing one’s ground  may come across as controlling and aggressive. In this situation, the person fears their needs will not be met if they don’t set the rules and direct the conversation.

When a person practices surrendering, they may be perceived as diplomatic and implementing this tactic to concede to the other person’s needs. In their quest to maintain the relationship, they place the needs and opinions of others on themselves.

One partner may compromise or sacrifice as a concession. This person makes a sequence of tradeoffs where they focus on what they want versus understanding the other person’s point of view.

Finally, from a positive standpoint, others collaborate for a positive, win-win situation. They look at common goals and needs, where each person’s opinions are stated, and important feelings are expressed and heard. This style exemplifies cooperation, assertiveness, and communication between the parties involved.

WHEN TO SEEK COUPLES COUNSELING

When the relationship is at a standstill or if they are unsure whether the relationship is worth salvaging, couples often seek couples or marriage counseling.

This type of therapy also can benefit families with children who have been affected by relationship issues, such as divorce, to help them confront the source of the conflict.

When a relationship is showing signs of addiction, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and/or severe depression, individuals should seek guidance from a counselor immediately, for your safety and the safety of your partner.

TREATMENT METHODS

Treatment techniques may include the following: Gottman Method, Narrative Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Positive Psychology, Imago Relationship Therapy, Analyzing Your Communication, Getting to the Root of the Problem, Enhancing Intimacy, Individual Counseling, or a Couples Retreat.

I have completed Levels I, II, and III of the Gottman Couples Therapy Method, which has been proven to help couples learn to respect and care for each other and to break through conflict in a calm and productive manner. In addition, this treatment helps couples avoid many pitfalls that may lead to divorce.

One of the research findings that is helpful to clients is understanding what is called “The Four Horsemen.” These four behaviors include: 1) criticism and complaining about your partner with contempt; 2) treating your partner with disrespect, showing sarcasm, eye-rolling, and defensiveness; 3) not taking responsibility for your actions; 4) stonewalling, shutting down, and backing away from a conversation.

The Gottman’s found that these behaviors are present in failing relationships. Therapists who use the Gottman Method help couples strive for balanced, healthy relationships and point out behaviors that are hazardous to couples.

These points plus the fact that The Gottman Method is all research-based make it an extremely effective tool for couples therapy.

START NOW TO SALVAGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Contact me today to set up a consultation and begin addressing your relationship challenges.

Family matters

Is your family going through a rough patch? Whether the issue itself stems from a lack of understanding between those involved, developmental disagreements with a child, or sibling conflict, a difficult situation can affect the entire family.

There are many causes for families experiencing rough spots. A family may be going through a loss. Substance abuse by a parent or child can create strife for everyone involved. Parenting issues or going through a divorce can be traumatic times.

The teenage years can be trying, resulting in behavioral issues, such as anger outbursts and sibling conflict. It is difficult to see family members struggle, and you may not know how to help the problem.

Family counseling, or family therapy, can be helpful when problems arise and can help restore and improve communication.

How is family therapy accomplished?

Family therapy or counseling can be used in addition to individual treatment. The goal is to improve relationships and improve methods of communication and conflict resolution.

Families are a unique ecosystem, and issues affecting one member of a family can affect the whole unit.

Additional benefits of this type of counseling are that, in some instances, the sessions can heal emotional wounds in a short period of time.

How can family counseling help?

Family counseling can help open up a line of dialogue and communication – and can help family members understand each other’s perspectives. This makes it easier to resolve disputes.

During the counseling sessions, each member learns ways of communicating better, as well as developing techniques to de-escalate arguments, while making sure that everybody is getting heard.

This also can help with parenting problems, such as conflicting parenting styles, rule enforcement, and remaining consistent with your child once the rules are established.

Parenting and family issues

The number of situations associated with parenting and families is endless, but common conflicts can include pushy in-laws, difference in opinion about parenting styles, and trauma, such as domestic violence, or alcohol and drug abuse.

Family and parenting issues also may include being a single parent, divorce, infidelity, problems as a result of divorced parents establishing a new relationship, less opportunities for parents and their children to spend time together, or deployment.

These issues are often intertwined. Treatment methods differ and will depend on the family or individual situation. Healing processes require improved communication, setting a good example as a parental unit, healthy conflict resolution, and setting clear boundaries.

Parenting support

You don’t have to face family challenges and parenting alone. Seek help from a trained therapist or a professional support group to gain some much-needed perspective that will help you to effectively work through your current problems.

Being a parent is a huge responsibility and is difficult at times. If you are married or single, you may feel that you are alone, especially if you are dealing with behavior issues with your child. It is important to talk about these problems with a trained therapist or parent support group to lessen the stress.

Why is parent support necessary?

Sometimes parents need help when setting boundaries and enforcing rules for their children. When a person goes through a divorce, this affects the children involved.

Each of these circumstances affects the family unit, and it is important that you seek the support you need. Such parent support groups help improve parenting skills and the parent and child relationship as well.

What types of parenting support are available?

Therapy may be in the form of a parent support group, group therapy meetings with other parents to discuss your child’s behaviors and offer advice to each other, one-on-one therapy sessions, or family counseling.

I work with a range of emotional and behavioral issues providing services for the following areas of focus that you may be struggling with: Adoption Adjustments, Child/Adolescent Issues, Family Conflict, in addition to Parenting & Parent Support.

I can help with family matters!

Are you ready for a change? Contact me and we can discuss what family issues you are facing.